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I have WONDERFUL news everyone! Yes, you heard it here first, Otal has escaped from the villainous clutches of his insane
grandmother.
4:00 Woken up by parents.
4:01 Promises I'll get out of bed in five minutes.
4:06 Still in bed.
4:11 Still in bed.
4:16 Asleep again.
4:43 Woken up again.
4:45 Downstairs. Breakfast cereal is poured into a bowl for eating. It is then poured out of bowl for and into plastic
container to be eaten in the car.
5:03 UNDER WAY and heading up to the great state of Maine.
5:38 ...Or not. Dog is running around and refusing to get back into the car
5:44 HOORAH, he's in the car and we can finally go!
5:45 ...Scratch that, he's out again.
6:07 Yes, FINALLY driving. Now, there's nothing to stop us from getting there in time to get to our hotel room and change
before heading to Brunch at one at gramma's nursing home. It'll only be five hours now, and it'll pass quickly, I'm sure.
6:14 Time not passing quickly at all.
6:53 At the first rest stop at what will be referred to as Gas Station Alpha, and... Mom decides she doesn't want to go.
6:54 We turn back.
7:39 Back at home. Mom gets out, with the dog.
7:39 We head off.
7:40 We discover I don't have a tie.
7:41 Go back home and get tie.
8:53 Back at Gas Station Alpha. It has taken us an hour and a half to go nowhere.
11:18 We probably shouldn't go to the Motel first. By the way, I have skipped over about five gas stations. Dad reminds
Catherine not to take forever getting dressed.
12:53 We get to Gramma's house, still in street clothes. I am ordered to remove my hat.
12:53 I remove my hat. This is such a rare occurence that it must be noted. I am in fact wearing my hat right now.
12:54 Gramma is not pleased, and makes this fact known.
12:55 Gramma is not pleased, and makes this fact known.
12:56 Gramma is not pleased, and makes this fact known. She also reminds us that the food here is quite good for a nursing
home.
12:58 Dad and I change. My sister is getting dressed.
1:24 Catherine finishes changing.
1:30 We get to the buffet. Gramma confides in us that the quality of the food at Parker Ridge is quite good compared to
other establishments of its kind.
1:38 We sit down to eat. I am having a plate of Shrimp, stuffing, and bread. Turkey is nowhere to be seen at the table.
1:43 The food is remarked to be very good, considering this is a nursing home.
1:52 The food is remarked to be spectacular by nursing home standards.
2:12 Dad and I get up for seconds. I get more bread and stuffing. I remark to dad that Gramma seems remarkably coherent
today.
2:13 Dad gets up to use the bathroom.
2:13 Gramma wonders why Jeffery has gotten up from the table,
and if he is getting seconds again. This would be unremarkable if not for the fact that my father's name is Peter.
2:14 Gramma calls my sister Katie. Her name is Catherine, not Katie. Katie is my cousin.
2:17 I am called Rebecca. My name is Matthew. Not only is my identity mistaken, but my gender is as well. I feel I have
gotten the worst of the bunch.
2:29 The waiter's hair is awesome, and he has a cool headband. I may and may not only like his hair because it's exactly
like mine.
2:31 We get dessert. The food here is stated to be remarkably good, seeing as it is a nursing home.
2:33 Gramma asks me if I would like some pie. I decline, I am having Ice Cream.
2:38 Gramma asks if I want pie, because the food here is so good for a nursing home. I again decline, I have ordered Ice
Cream, which I am sure will arrive any minute now.
2:40 Ice Cream arrives. Gramma asks if I want some Pumpkin Pie. No, I do not, I am clearly eating Ice cream.
2:41 Gramma asks what I plan on having for dessert if I am not going to have any pie.
2:41 Will save is rolled to avoid yelling at Gramma that I am eating Ice Cream, and therefore do not want Pie.
2:42 I succeed at will save.
3:13 Food is done. Hoorah, hoorah! We head up to Gramma's apartment to use the bathroom, and Dad can talk.
3:14 Gramma's TV is in poor repair, and only gets one channel. quite frankly not giving a GARY THE EMO BUMBLEBEE about
Veggietales, Catherine and I leave.
3:18 We find the old person games room. Hooray, they have a pool table. I enjoy pool.
3:20 I remember I have hand-eye coordination difficulties. I'm still not doing to bad, as my sister sucks at pool so it
balances out.
3:47 Long and embarrassing game of pool finally ends. We decide to play again without using pool sticks.
3:59 I win game of pool played without sticks, but with rolling the cue ball around the table. We play again with sticks.
4:41 Just as our third game ends, Dad comes by and announces that we're heading to the Motel now. It is, by the way, called
the Sunshine Motel. I wonder if they have a room ten, and if so am I allowed to sleep in it, and if so is it full of magical
objects.
4:45-4:53 Dad explains to my sister the meaning of "We have gotten two rooms." My sister insists on having a
room to herself. I remind her that she's afraid of sleeping in a room by herself. She insists nonetheless.
6:00 At the Sunshine Motel. There is a disappointing lack of magical objects OR Room Tens.
6:04 Catherine lets me have a room to myself.
6:12 Would we like something to eat? Yes. Perhaps there is a nearby restraunt.
6:13 The closest restraunt is a Denny's several miles away.
6:15 Dad heads off. Catherine comes to my room, which as previously stated is not room ten of the Sunshine motel. It is
actually room C of the Sunshine Motel. Not to be fooled, I am on the lookout for paranormal activity.
6:17 I wonder if That 70's Show is on.
6:19 That 70's Show Marathon on FX. Perhaps this is that paranormal activity? A quick scan of memory does not remember
the ads mentioning a TV that shows whatever show you think about.
6:20 I find a ballpoint pen. Doodling on a picture of my sister does not, however, cause her to burst into flame. It may
be merely a ballpoint pen. This is dismaying.
6:28 Hmm... Perhaps I can test out that TV idea? I think about Galactica.
6:30 Flipping through the channels has shown no Galactica, but has gotten an angry sister. Experiment deemed a failure.
6:48 You know Fez, despite what you think, people will probably think you're I LIKE RAINBOWS, COME, LETS BE AS STRAIGHT
AS CIRCLES. if they're told...
7:13 Hyde tells his stoned mentor guy that he's going to Chicago to find Jackie, and that due to the guy's short term
memory loss, he'll probably forget this any minute. The guy denies that this will happen. Hyde tells him that he can run the
record store while he goes to Chicago. The guy tells him that Jackie's in Chicago. This sort of memory loss does not at all
remind me of any grandmothers of mine.
8:15 Dad FINALLY arrives with the food. It's a pair of burgers from me, a salad for him, and chicken for my sister. All
from Denny's. My sister returns to her and Dad's room.
8:20 I decide to get in the bath.
8:22 Despite what I have learned from my house, not all baths in the world when set to "Hot" produce "Barely
warm."
8:26 This water sure is hot. In fact, scalding.
8:30 I get out of bath.
8:34 I get into bath again.
8:37 I get out of bath for final time.
10:00 Wow, Dad's timing is still great. I'm given my sleeping medicine. That Seventies Show is still on.
11:38 I fall asleep.
3:02 Awoken by laugh track from inexplicably still on Seventies Show.
6:00 Alarm goes off. I didn't set it, but I guess the last guy in the room did. I try to find snooze button, but fall
out of bed. TV laughs at me.
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